Humor Me: LED ALL THE THINGS!

Have you ever noticed how computers parts seem to be getting bigger these days?

Graphics cards are taking up two and three slots, fans are bigger and not as loud, and AMD ThreadRipper CPUs are so big their owners have to pay property taxes. But, parts aren’t just getting bigger, they’re also getting brighter. And I’m not talking about artificial intelligence.

I turned on the Amazon Prime Twitch Game Streaming service the other day and I saw this guy sitting in his room with shades on. Now, wearing shades indoors signifies one of two things to me: you’re either blind or you can’t even stand the sight of your own code. But, this guy wasn’t blind, nor was he surrounded by half-empty Mt. Dew cans, three-day old pizza, or a stack of Programming for Dummies books.

While I kept watching, he eventually switched his camera angle in the stream and I saw it. Just barely. There was a computer case sitting on the table next to his monitor with what looked like what I can only describe as an interstellar light beacon. This thing was either giving him a tan or secretly signaling Matthew McConaughey.

But, that’s the trend now; putting LEDs on everything: motherboards, RAM, SSDs, you name it. I saw one streamer with LEDs on his jacket. Maybe they help keep the jacket warm because they definitely weren’t making him any easier to watch. They were streaming Alone in the Dark, which was just a touch ironic.

But, here’s what I have to say about this trend: calm down with the LEDs. Computers were never easy to look at in the first place. We don’t have to make that task harder. So, I say just let your computers be boring, ugly, and simple. In 10 years your eyes will thank you; your computer will never become unfashionable because it was never in fashion; and you won’t regret this decision unlike that LED gaming chair that caught fire last year.

Remember, I’m on call if you need me. We’re all in this together, Engineers.

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